This might sound weird, but where are the normal gay guys at? I made the mistake of asking a subreddit the question in the title of this post. I’m not really a circuit party or gay bar sort of bisexual guy. I’ve been to a gay bar. I’ve worked in gay bars and found community there. But I am approaching my mid-30s, and between the pandemic and a strong desire to make my own drinks, the gay bar/club space just isn’t me anymore. I knew that there had to be other guys like me. So, I decided to see if anyone else has having the same experience as myself. So, I posted to r/gaysover30. It did not go well.
Mistakes Were Made
Well, I certainly shouldn’t have asked this question on a gay forum on Reddit. After only 11 responses, the mods pulled it down for being too judgmental. I made an observation, “It seems like there’s not much space for the working professional gay man that doesn’t live in the gym (because too tired) and has a life outside of sex and finding sex? There’s an absurd emphasis on partying, fitness, and drinking/drugs. I was in a bisexual support group earlier this year and one guy remarked, “is being gay just sex, sex, and more sex?” He was offended by NYC encouraging glory holes to slow the pandemic. “Is this all we are?” He lamented with sad eyes. I could see the pain in his eyes, and I agreed with him wholeheartedly.
